The Proper Format for a Suicide Note
Dear Mr. Payne,I have been thinking of offing myself for years, but can't go through with it until I figure out my suicide note. I keep searching Google, but can't find the proper formatting for such a...
View ArticleOffice parties are more painful than actual work
If you haven't already had your office holiday party, chances are it is right around the corner.Company holiday parties are designed to boost company morale. Yet what do people say when they tell you...
View ArticleActions speak louder than calls to action
The much discussed climate change documentary An Inconvenient Truth came out in 2006, and with it, the image of NYC underwater due to climate change made its way into the global warming discussion.That...
View ArticleJ'recuse
Social media has made it easier for the man on the street to weigh in on headline-grabbing tragedies. But instead of using their own language, it seems most people end up mimicking the pundits we've...
View ArticleThe Horrors of Moving to London
I just found this on my computer. It was a post I put on MySpace in 2008, just after moving to London's East End. I had forgotten all about it, and I think it is damn charming. I'm not sure what the...
View ArticleOut with the old and the TOTALLY NEW, MAN!
I have been taking in the New Year's "Twilight Zone" marathon. Every TV program, but especially those like "TZ" that are attempting to be "socially relevant," can't help but be a time-capsule. Many...
View ArticleDeadbeat dads must be world class salesmen
Whenever you hear about a guy with a bunch of illegitimate kids, the formula is always the same; eight kids, seven mothers. There is always that one woman who fell for it twice.This is not so bad if...
View ArticleIf you like nonstop death, you'll love The Hobbit!
***Multiple spoilers alert.***I went to see The Hobbit in 3-D. I haven't read the book, but as a very young child I saw the animated Hobbit many times. My memories of it were faint, so I went into this...
View ArticleArsenio Hall Revisited
Once Arsenio Hall's red hot comedy career hit a wall, to many the man became a joke himself. It happened rather quickly; rarely have I seen a comedian treated like an out-of-style pop star, with...
View ArticleShooter Games, Shooter Films, and Moneyshots
Today is the one month anniversary of Sandy Hook, and the discussion of the causes behind the shooting continues. One topic has been the possible link between violent entertainment and violent...
View ArticleOccam's Razor and Lance Armstrong
Occam's Razor: When you have two competing theories that make exactly the same predictions, the simpler one is the better.When people are accused of engaging in elaborate plots, commentators frequently...
View ArticleWhy baby boomers aren't done ruining the country
You may have heard this quote (usually attributed to Winston Churchill): "If you are not a liberal at twenty, you have no heart and if you are not conservative at thirty, you have no brain."You start...
View ArticleHipsters Explained
Was discussing hipsters with my comic friends Ian Ghent and Dan Goodman. The topic: Why are hipsters so useless? I think part of what explains hipsters is a widespread refusal to grow up....
View ArticleWhy women in combat is going to mean more war
Indeed, women in combat is going to mean more war. Not declared wars (declarations don't seem to be necessary anymore anyway), but useless interventions built around touchy-feely narratives.Here's the...
View ArticleThere are No Bad Boys Left in Rock, Just LOTS of Bad
If you don't remember Third Eye Blind, count yourself among the lucky. Paris Hilton has led a less charmed life (one might even call it semi-charmed).During their fifteen minutes, I caught their singer...
View ArticleIs your brain in airplane mode?
You don't have to be a physicist to recognize that cell phones on a plane probably aren't as dangerous as we've been led to believe. Think of all the things they screen you for when you fly: shampoo,...
View ArticleSmall talk only comes from small brains
I spent many years working many different types of retail, and never ceased to be amazed by how insulting and condescending the public could be. Because of this, I have to talk myself out of drop...
View ArticleSmoking Causes Cancer and Cancerous Singing
You've seen it more times than you probably realize: singers smoking on stage, singers on the cover of magazines holding cigarettes. Sometimes singers get really creative and stash their lit smoke up...
View ArticleAnother Old Wives' Tale Debunked
You can tell how a man is in bed by how he dances.This is an old wives' tale that shows why no one listens to old wives. So if a guy does a mean limbo, it means he doesn't struggle with premature...
View ArticleCops must act like robots, except when we decide they should act like humans
The saga of Christopher Dorner brings to mind an interesting blindspot in America's execution of justice; the widespread acceptance that cop-killers stand less of a chance of being brought in alive...
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